Malinka's Studio

A crazy girl, in a small studio :) :) :)

It might sun but I just don’t see it

I recently received a job offer in another country and I accepted it with no reserves. I do not know why but I am not happy where I live now. Everybody keeps showing me that I have all the possible conditions to be very happy and still I’m not. I have my own place, I make good money for witch I work hard and still I can’t feel any enjoyment. I was thinking that this could be because I was single but I was dating someone and it didn’t make me feel any better. It is like everybody keeps pointing to the sun and I can’t see or feel it. It is the holidays season and I’m running from what I call now “my home” with no remorse.
Before leaving I made the usual steps: farewell party and making my boss very angry with this decision, he said that anyone with half of brain would see that this is a bad choice! I organised 2 parties: for my ex-colleagues and for my friends. At the first one only 1 person showed up and at the second – 4. I appreciate their efforts with all my hearth since the weather was terrible but this again proves my point: I’m not happy here, I don’t even have friends.
The move is very very sudden and I have to leave tomorrow morning. I was very lucky to find a place to stay, I received some important documents, managed to rent my own apartment and clarified all possible issues. I feel like faith is telling me that this is a good leave. I hope that this will be true and that in this new country I will find whatever it is missing from my life.
I read a book about a Russian girl that dreamed that she will see the sea. She felt that she will not be happy until this happens. When she grew up that was the only thing on her mind: to see the sea. When she finally reached it, by the seashore she was stabbed by some drunk sailors… I am just afraid that some random people will kill my hope that some other place will be different. The only different thing  is that I’m only half Russian and half Romanian so I believe that it doesn’t apply to me 🙂 🙂 🙂
I am writing now from the center of my pity party were the only guest that arrived is me and the only reason why I am posting this is because I’m tipsy and probably will delete it tomorrow.
I hope to write soon with the very first impression of Budapest, this is where I’m moving. Since I’m so self-centered I wanted to write about my fears and not about the city of witch I know frankly nothing, yet 🙂 🙂 🙂


December 13, 2012 - Posted by | Social life | , ,


  1. Looking forward to reading your experiences, as I too moved to London from far away without knowing this place. 🙂 Don’t delete – keep it for the moments of your precious times.

    Comment by freebirdmani | December 13, 2012 | Reply

  2. Mlinka! Darling, ‘long time no see’! Budapest is a beautiful city with a lot to offer. Of course I was there as a tourist. Always think positive (make this your ‘modus operandi’) so you invite good energy to your life. Your perky personality and sense of humor should make it easy! Good to hear from you! 😀 Fae.

    Comment by Fae's Twist & Tango | December 13, 2012 | Reply

  3. The wonderful thing about making decisions is you can always modify, or completely change them. Nothing is forever; unless we wish it so…!

    Comment by carolynpageabc | December 14, 2012 | Reply

  4. Have a nice time in Budapest 🙂
    I am happy to see your posts appearing after a long time. I hope Budapest will make you write more. 🙂

    Comment by Manu Kurup | December 14, 2012 | Reply

  5. I too, am looking forward to reading of your future adventures – safe travels!

    Comment by t | December 15, 2012 | Reply

  6. Wishing you all the best, sometimes going somewhere totally different is a new start and you will love it! Budapest is a great city I believe! Enjoy it!

    Comment by utesmile | December 17, 2012 | Reply

  7. I like your blog, your guitar photo in your studio. I think I can write more song with that. Thanks

    Comment by truthseldomheard | December 20, 2012 | Reply

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