Malinka's Studio

A crazy girl, in a small studio :) :) :)

The King’s Fool

ch_jester_jesterThere are not too many dates that I go too, but this one was accidently. I was taking  a trip to Viena and Bratislava when I noticed a group of Brazilian people. I have a ton of stereotipes in my head about them and decided to see if they are true. I was talking with one of them with the greatest smile I have ever seen and I asked him out for a coffee. Their next destination was Budapest, my residence city. It was my first direct contact with the Brazilian culture (besides the telenovelas) and I was so impressed by the atitude and by the energy! I felt like nothing can make this guy sad or angry and I am always curious about these kind of people. Of course like any Brazilian (maybe another pre-conception?) he was very romantic and playful. Our first date went very well and we both had fun, then met some of my friends and went home at 1 am. I was looking forward to see him the next day even if I was aware that this is a date between his traveling, I was ok with that. I was genuinely interested to learn more about him and his country and didn’t consider this a romantic date. The next day he said he is busy with his friends but that I can come along. I was a little bumped but again, I was interested in learning more about him and his culture. So I met the friends, we had a nice time, they were all turists so they made pictures, sang their songs, showed me their dances, told me their believes, and in between all these the Brazilian guy was giving me sweet kisses (by the way, did anyone noticed that they kiss diferently than the europeans? or it is just me) … it was a nice experience! I was prepared to call it done when he invited me over in his town to spend time together, or he can visit me, he can show me the city, let’s keep in touch, add me on your networks… I was more than happy to do that but still reluctant, after my experience with long distance romance. We said good bye in front of the hostel and I went home to dream about him :).  A couple of days later and weeks after that I wrote to him just to say hi and to ask how is life, but never got an answer. His friends posted tones of pictures from their trip and none of them were with me, they either selected the ones I made or cut me from the pictures. All these make me believe that I was just the king’s fool for their trip. I was the entertainer, I was aware of that and was fine with this role until he sugesteg we keep in touch further. That moment I left my imaginary hat and started to think and to hope for more, forgetting he lives in another country!
The worst part was that he ruined it for the next Brazilians I will be meeting in my life, I will believe that they are double faced just like this guy, and it is too bad because I really like their spirit. Oh well, I am funny and I am good for a laugh. If it was not for that moment of losing my hat, I would have been happier today.

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May 12, 2013 Posted by | Dating | , , , , | 3 Comments

Meeting my Ideal Man – 2

Videocall943_sketchhere is the 1st part: Meeting my Ideal Man

Just months before the new year’s eve I am in Budapest, starting a new life and waiting for my ideal man to join me!!!
I had 1 month of peace before crazy starts at work. It was the first time in a long time when I didn’t have to run anywhere or to help anyone, I had this time all for me. I was looking for a good present but couldn’t chose anything because we were never this close for me to actually know what he likes. I started buying supplies and realized that I don’t know if he drinks coffee or just tea, if he eats cereals or pasta, gas water or tapped, cola or sprite? I wanted to ask him all these questions but he was in another trip. And what do people do when they don’t get answers? they panic! He was nowhere to be found. This is not a new situation, because we are in different it passed weeks with no news from him so this is normal. With this free time, I started really analyzing the situation. I was getting confused, what do I really know about this guys, he could have one, two, three girlfriends, he could be married and have 3 kids and I am his female friend that he just talks to occasionally? or he might be lonely and likes to chat with me and no romantic feelings, who knows? I waited for him to get back in touch to plan his trip to Budapest and genuinely, just to speak some more. This never happened. During this month of peace I realized that if he liked me at least a bit, we would have been together a long time ago. He was always aware of where am I in life as a person and he didn’t take a step towards me. He is not restricted by a job, or by his family, he always travels, he could have traveled to my city. During this month only, I realized that he never asked me out on a date. I was thinking that he didn’t do that because I was not at that level when we met. It is the first day of 2013 and he is not here, not even close to come, he has vanished for the moment. He will get back in touch in a couple of weeks and I will be happy to chat with him, as someone that he has obviously considered me to be – his friend.
The bottom line is that he is not interested in me in that way, no matter what my level is and I have finally made peace with that. Coming to this realization has proved to be the best thing that happened to me this past year. If I was motivated by a potential relationship to grow so much, to discipline myself and to learn, I can only imagine what I can obtain once I have more concrete objectives!!!  I have the confidence to plan my future and I see very clear how I can fulfill these plans.
I am somehow grateful for meeting him at that time in my life. I am sure that he doesn’t realize what influence he had on me and how much he helped me. I really got to a different level and being here allows me to see other opportunities of growing and of course, to understand witch opportunities are real and witch are just fantasies 🙂 I don’t know if this is the desire of improving myself for the ideal man or its the fact that I’m growing up, but I see things better and clearer. I wonder, do all adults clear their minds in a peaceful month???? 🙂
It sounds silly but this is the absolute truth and I have to be honest, it makes more sens in my head than on the paper :). It feels good to write it down because not even my closest friends know about it.
I am confident about my future now knowing how well disciplined and motivated I can be. You just wait and see, world, you just wait and see 🙂 🙂 🙂

January 2, 2013 Posted by | Dating, Obsessions | , , , | 12 Comments

Meeting my Ideal Man

Videocall943_sketchDear Friends, let me share with you how I met my ideal man. At 21 I met a very nice young man, he was the ideal man for me, very smart, very nice body and well educated. It was a cultural shock for me to discover this man’s mind and presence. He worked for a public institution in my city so he had a suit on and after work he had the simplest t-shirt, as I said, the ideal man!!! We became friends and shortly I became obsessed with him. I was so in love that I would follow him everywhere and made sure to join him in all his trips. Shortly his internship was over and he went on to another country, doing another internship. I was not sad that he left because I knew that at that stage of my life, I was not ready or willing to wear all Lacoste and eat with a fork and a knife. I was at the stage when I was working as a waitress to support myself and was eating while rushing to class or work. So I thought to myself: you are not at his level at the moment, once time will pass and things will get better, how knows??? maybe it will happen. Because we kept in touch this feeling got even stronger. I thought to myself that if I really want to get to this guy’s level, I should work on myself. Here the English lessons started, better grades, and instead of working in a bar I applied for a position at an embassy, and then at an international consultancy company. I started being very socially active, got involved in NGOs, charity activities, international projects, conferences and business trips, reading like crazy, writing and publishing articles … I was always looking to meet more interesting and important people so that I could cultivate myself. When the time comes I want to meet him again and take his breath away! Every decision that I made was based on: would his girlfriend (but I was thinking wife) settle for this level or she would push more and get better results??? Every event that I attended was based on the same logic: is this event interesting enough for his wife? Every peace of clothing or jewel was carefully researched and selected on the same criteria.  Basically, I dragged my ass from a world of waiting tables to an international business environment and I enjoyed every moment of it!!! I became an elegant girl and at the same time I could relax and just go out for a beer. I was doing all these thinking that I have all the potential of making it in this world and getting my ideal man. We kept in touch and he always knew about my activities and was genuine happy for me, happy and proud. I was thinking to myself that the magic day is coming and 2 years of hard work on myself will pay out. We kept in touch even if we constantly moved and lived in other countries.
During the Autumn we agreed to spend the new year’s eve together in Budapest, since it is very close to his country. From the conversation I felt that he is on the same page as me, this would mean more that a visit to Budapest, this would mean another try for us as a couple. This time I had all the cards in my sleeve!!!

to be continue at Meeting my Ideal Man – 2

December 29, 2012 Posted by | Dating, Obsessions | , , , , | 10 Comments

Preparing to date ? :)

As you have noticed I haven’t been posting anything relating or even close to dating. I have to say that I have been down a little. Because of the Crush on a Leo and because some important people have moved away (shout out to Elena Nevada 🙂 ) I was not myself lately and I needed some time to put the pieces together. I started reading more often and just being more passive in general and I have to say that it did me only good. I guess I needed a slower period. Now I feel that I smile as usual, I speak and I feel as positive as always, what a better time to meet someone new, maybe the love of my life ??? 🙂 I spiritually feel ready to meet someone and I feel like I have the patience to discover a listen to a life story… 🙂
I got a new haircut, tailored my French coat, bought new shoes and together with me feeling like myself I feel that I am ready to go back in the dating game! 🙂 🙂 🙂
what news do you have, dear World?

October 30, 2012 Posted by | Dating | , , | 8 Comments

Crush on a Leo

There is not much to say: i had a crush (still have) on a guy I recently met. He is well educated, funny and has a strong personality, just as his sign – Leo, and in general, you can tell that he is a nice guy. I was so absorbed of how smart and funny he is that it didn’t cross my mind that he might have a girlfriend! I was flirting and “coincidentally” spent time with him and some other friends, until it got to me! Now I have to apologize like an idiot for being the last to know, to accept if more precise, that he is committed to someone else. Well, what can I do? he is still on my mind and I’m eating candies 🙂 that how bitter sweet my life is these days.

October 1, 2012 Posted by | Dating | , , , , , , | 13 Comments

I’m sorry, you’re just not my type!

I always wondered what people really mean when they say: I’m sorry, you’re just not my type! I heard men and women saying it; I recently had to say it to a wonderful man: I couldn’t feel free around him, I couldn’t relate to anything he said; he is from a different world and I felt like an idiot the whole time.
I never had a clear definition of what my “type” of men is, so I thought about it for a while. The only clear explanation that came into my head is this: everybody has a sens of himself and in order to fall in love with someone else, he/she must feel that person on the same level, on the same page, using the same life principles (more or less), activating in the same groups (again, more or less). It is not a matter of a high/low self appreciation, it is merely a clear perception of who you are and who you can accept to be around you. I remember being  fascinated by doctors until I dated one. After that I came to the conclusion that he is not my type, I could’t accept his attitude towards people (which was altered by his medical practice), the same when I couldn’t date someone for a longer time because I always felt morally intimated (he felt the need of proving that he is much smarter). The good thing about these experiences is I learned something out of each one of them: not to date a doctor or a smart ass… but as soon as I determine what my type is it happens that I tend to like totally another type of person!!! Of course, people often say that opposite attract but this is not a general rule. If people are extremely different and their daily activities or passions are different, they say in the end: I am sorry, you are not my type.
It has happened that I was told this, when I was so sure that I was his type 🙂 !!! so I am curious, what is your definition of: you are not my type? and when was the last time you have used it? of course, I am not going to ask anyone the last time it was said to them 🙂 🙂 🙂

September 14, 2012 Posted by | Dating, Social life | , , , , | 14 Comments

All my lovers!!!

No, this article is not about Kylie’s song. As I mentioned before, I am not married and not in a long term relation. In my family and in my society this is a big issue as people think that is something wrong with you. You know what they say, if nobody wants you it must be because your broken (or sick, or anything else that doesn’t make any sens). When I was 21 and dating, my family put serious pressure on me to stop fooling around and get married. Fortunately, I didn’t and decided to travel instead. I must say that this has been eye opening for me and this step changed my life for good. My family, especially my mother, has accepted the idea that I am still searching for my right man. Occasionally, when I run into old classmates from high school or from the University, they ask me if I am married. That is the only thing that they ask. They know from gossip that I have an amazing job, that I traveled allot and the only thing they still need to feel fulfilled is if I am married or not :). Right, I have no problem is saying that I am single. Unfortunately, this leads to others questions and propositions of match making and dates arrangements with their uncles, brothers, fathers… So I discovered that it is takes less time and hustle to say that I am. I am dating (and smile, you really need to add a smile for them to believe you 🙂 ). In fact, to make it even better, I add: I am dating a French guy, he is so romantic!!! I have no words in describing their reaction! To make it even better, I change the nationality of my “boyfriend” for each person that asks. I don’t discriminate, I just say the first nationality that comes to my mind and the best known stereotype that everyone knows about that nationality: I am dating a Spanish guy, he is teaching me how to dance salsa, I am dating a German, he is really strict with our relationship, I am dating a Bulgarian, he is teaching me how to cook gulash 🙂 and so on! This immediately leads to another topic and they are suddenly not interested in knowing any more details! Just give people what they want! 🙂 The only problem is that sometimes I forget what nationality I told that person, so I immediately say that it wasn’t going well, you know, different nationalities, different cultures… 🙂 I know this sounds silly but it is simpler that to tell them: I’m sorry, i didn’t know that you are a life expert and that you know how to live my life better, I guess you learned this at I-didn’t-know-what-to-do-with-my-life-and-married-the-first-man-that-I-dated University and that you have the right to teach me. I don’t need anyone of them to agree or validate my life choices. All these explanations lead to disagreements and I am doing my best to avoid them. I find that my method is much easier, creative and funnier. Until the right man comes along. One day I am going to tell him about this and he’s going to think that I am crazy, and love me even more 🙂

August 14, 2012 Posted by | Dating, Social life | , , | 7 Comments

I have a date! (second part)

Dating is not easy. As I previously mentioned, it not my favorite thing to do. I went on a date this evening and I felt like this guy is so nice and amazing but we didn’t click. We are extremely different and have very different interest. First it is the age difference, he is 12 years older than me and sometimes, I didn’t understand his point or references. Second, he has traveled allot and seen many things, he is now ready to settle down and study the bible every week. I am still in the phase of “young and restless”, still want to see and understand the world. He was so disappointed when I told him that!!! We were sitting and thinking what 2 completely strangers are doing at this table? Well, the story is as follows: he saw some pictures on mine from Toastmasters (imagine that!) and liked me. He came to the meeting were he asked if I would like to go out for some tea. That was our meeting and asking out phase. And I hate myself a little for not feeling anything for him as he is an interesting and kind man!!! I don’t know if it ever happened to you but I hate myself (just a little) when I meet a perfectly alright guy and I don’t feel anything for him!!! But this is the way of the hearth and cannot change it. He probably thought that I am completely crazy for speaking about my job so much! All in all, it was an o.k. evening but I don’t see any future dates with this man, such a pity but when there is no chemistry there is nothing to be done.

Here is an idea on how I looked today 🙂

First date                                          

August 1, 2012 Posted by | Dating | , , , , | 4 Comments

I have a date – first part

I have a date !!! (first part)

I don’t know on how many dates do you usually go to, maybe you are already married (good for you!) maybe you found your soul mate!  But for those who are still looking for that special someone, dating is mandatory. I have to be very honest and say that I have dating, I feel like I’m at an interview. I have to behave and impress the other person, in my case, impress the guy. Men think that I am always like that but for me it is a little difficult to be interested and attentive all the time, after all, I am also after one long day of work! I know, you will say that I shouldn’t pretend more interested that I usually am but I think that in order to find that special one, I have to make some efforts, I can’t just wait for drop from the sky.

So, I have a date. The last date that I have been on was really nice but then we discovered that we are too different and that it is better to remain friends. I wouldn’t say that I am very excited for this new date but again, the things and people that I was most excited lost my interest after I got them, so, I am taking it as a good sign :). I am very shy and uncomfortable with new people (and this guy is a new person). I prefer to know the man from another place or to be friends with him beforehand but hopefully it will go well, what can I lose? I also have to think about what to talk with this person since he is a complete stranger to me. I have to think about things that I can tell him, I can’t reveal to much. (I mean that I can’t tell him that I don’t know what am I doing with my life and that I am always surfing the internet instead of having a real life…. yep, that kind of things). I named this blog first part as I want to include my impressions after the date. I am not very sociable and don’t really have any friends so it is good for me to write about this, it takes the stress away for a while.

Kisses and please keep your fingers crossed for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

July 31, 2012 Posted by | Dating | , , , | 4 Comments

   

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