Malinka's Studio

A crazy girl, in a small studio :) :) :)

Meeting my Ideal Man – 2

Videocall943_sketchhere is the 1st part: Meeting my Ideal Man

Just months before the new year’s eve I am in Budapest, starting a new life and waiting for my ideal man to join me!!!
I had 1 month of peace before crazy starts at work. It was the first time in a long time when I didn’t have to run anywhere or to help anyone, I had this time all for me. I was looking for a good present but couldn’t chose anything because we were never this close for me to actually know what he likes. I started buying supplies and realized that I don’t know if he drinks coffee or just tea, if he eats cereals or pasta, gas water or tapped, cola or sprite? I wanted to ask him all these questions but he was in another trip. And what do people do when they don’t get answers? they panic! He was nowhere to be found. This is not a new situation, because we are in different it passed weeks with no news from him so this is normal. With this free time, I started really analyzing the situation. I was getting confused, what do I really know about this guys, he could have one, two, three girlfriends, he could be married and have 3 kids and I am his female friend that he just talks to occasionally? or he might be lonely and likes to chat with me and no romantic feelings, who knows? I waited for him to get back in touch to plan his trip to Budapest and genuinely, just to speak some more. This never happened. During this month of peace I realized that if he liked me at least a bit, we would have been together a long time ago. He was always aware of where am I in life as a person and he didn’t take a step towards me. He is not restricted by a job, or by his family, he always travels, he could have traveled to my city. During this month only, I realized that he never asked me out on a date. I was thinking that he didn’t do that because I was not at that level when we met. It is the first day of 2013 and he is not here, not even close to come, he has vanished for the moment. He will get back in touch in a couple of weeks and I will be happy to chat with him, as someone that he has obviously considered me to be – his friend.
The bottom line is that he is not interested in me in that way, no matter what my level is and I have finally made peace with that. Coming to this realization has proved to be the best thing that happened to me this past year. If I was motivated by a potential relationship to grow so much, to discipline myself and to learn, I can only imagine what I can obtain once I have more concrete objectives!!!  I have the confidence to plan my future and I see very clear how I can fulfill these plans.
I am somehow grateful for meeting him at that time in my life. I am sure that he doesn’t realize what influence he had on me and how much he helped me. I really got to a different level and being here allows me to see other opportunities of growing and of course, to understand witch opportunities are real and witch are just fantasies 🙂 I don’t know if this is the desire of improving myself for the ideal man or its the fact that I’m growing up, but I see things better and clearer. I wonder, do all adults clear their minds in a peaceful month???? 🙂
It sounds silly but this is the absolute truth and I have to be honest, it makes more sens in my head than on the paper :). It feels good to write it down because not even my closest friends know about it.
I am confident about my future now knowing how well disciplined and motivated I can be. You just wait and see, world, you just wait and see 🙂 🙂 🙂

January 2, 2013 Posted by | Dating, Obsessions | , , , | 12 Comments

Meeting my Ideal Man

Videocall943_sketchDear Friends, let me share with you how I met my ideal man. At 21 I met a very nice young man, he was the ideal man for me, very smart, very nice body and well educated. It was a cultural shock for me to discover this man’s mind and presence. He worked for a public institution in my city so he had a suit on and after work he had the simplest t-shirt, as I said, the ideal man!!! We became friends and shortly I became obsessed with him. I was so in love that I would follow him everywhere and made sure to join him in all his trips. Shortly his internship was over and he went on to another country, doing another internship. I was not sad that he left because I knew that at that stage of my life, I was not ready or willing to wear all Lacoste and eat with a fork and a knife. I was at the stage when I was working as a waitress to support myself and was eating while rushing to class or work. So I thought to myself: you are not at his level at the moment, once time will pass and things will get better, how knows??? maybe it will happen. Because we kept in touch this feeling got even stronger. I thought to myself that if I really want to get to this guy’s level, I should work on myself. Here the English lessons started, better grades, and instead of working in a bar I applied for a position at an embassy, and then at an international consultancy company. I started being very socially active, got involved in NGOs, charity activities, international projects, conferences and business trips, reading like crazy, writing and publishing articles … I was always looking to meet more interesting and important people so that I could cultivate myself. When the time comes I want to meet him again and take his breath away! Every decision that I made was based on: would his girlfriend (but I was thinking wife) settle for this level or she would push more and get better results??? Every event that I attended was based on the same logic: is this event interesting enough for his wife? Every peace of clothing or jewel was carefully researched and selected on the same criteria.  Basically, I dragged my ass from a world of waiting tables to an international business environment and I enjoyed every moment of it!!! I became an elegant girl and at the same time I could relax and just go out for a beer. I was doing all these thinking that I have all the potential of making it in this world and getting my ideal man. We kept in touch and he always knew about my activities and was genuine happy for me, happy and proud. I was thinking to myself that the magic day is coming and 2 years of hard work on myself will pay out. We kept in touch even if we constantly moved and lived in other countries.
During the Autumn we agreed to spend the new year’s eve together in Budapest, since it is very close to his country. From the conversation I felt that he is on the same page as me, this would mean more that a visit to Budapest, this would mean another try for us as a couple. This time I had all the cards in my sleeve!!!

to be continue at Meeting my Ideal Man – 2

December 29, 2012 Posted by | Dating, Obsessions | , , , , | 10 Comments

   

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